Prelude to The Tough Zone Part II : House Rules

Do you know how a microwave oven  works? I don’t. I’ll tell you what I do know. When I put my food in a microwave and push start, my food gets hot. I don’t need to know how the circuits work, how the microwaves are generated, how much power the oven has. My microwave is useful whether I have this information or not.

Living in The Tough-Zone is a lot like using a microwave. It’s something you will have to learn from experience.  Do it and see if it works. If it doesn’t work, don’t do it. I won’t always be able to tell you the exact mechanism behind my advice. What I can tell you is that if you follow certain Transforming to Tough precepts, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PERFORM AT A HIGH LEVEL NO MATTER WHAT THE CONDITIONS. That’s what “tough” is all about.

 Use these precepts with the roadmap presented in The Smart Zone and you will become boundless. In The Tough Zone, we will cover all sorts of subject matter: overcoming ego, losing the victim mentality, defining success, mindfulness, appreciation, seeing the good in others to name a few. But first, lets discuss the house rules to the Tough Zone.

1. Our conscious minds have no idea what is going on

In his book, “The User Illusion,” Tor Norretranders describes the tiny lens through which we view reality. According to this world-renowned mathematician, our conscious mind processes 15-20 bits of information per second; this out of  11 million bits of information per second that our senses pass on to our brains.  Thus, in any given instant, we are aware of only a tiny, tiny fraction of our physical reality.

Couple that with the latest from quantum physics: According to Superstring Theory (also known as “The Theory of Everything”), our physical universe has ten dimensions. We experience only three dimensions. Our daily life, what we perceive as “real,” is merely a three-dimensional shadow in a ten dimensional universe. Translation: There is a lot going on that we are not aware of.

Are you aware of the Internet? Are you aware of  the actual waves traveling through the air, bouncing off satellites and somehow producing an image on your computer? Of course you aren’t. But, you are using the Internet to communicate now.

How does knowing this make me tougher?

When something kooky appears in your movie, admitting you probably have no idea what is going on makes it easy to be proactive. You can simply say, “I have no idea why this is in my movie. I’m not going to fret about it.” Or you might say, “Is this my Call to Action?” Perhaps, “I won’t realize the significance of this event until later in my movie. For now, back the Smart Zone!”

2. Our brain is not in control

Our conscious minds like to think we are in control of everything…..so does our ego. We assume that our brain is the originator of our thoughts and that these thoughts determine the events in our movie. Not true. In fact, our brain is more like a holographic  TV set.  It receives signals and creates a picture of reality – albeit a very limited picture. So who’s in control? The real question is where are these signals coming from?

How does knowing this make me tougher?

Tough people learn to discriminate among their thoughts. Quite simply, there are thoughts that help us on our journey and thoughts that don’t. Think of your brain as a TV that has two stations: 1. K-TUF  2. K-WIMP.  Unfortunately, our brain is naturally set to K-WIMP (blasting at full volume) most of the time. We are constantly bombarded by worthless thoughts that harm our journey. The hero in your movie would certainly know how to turn the channel to K-TUF. Tough people have no interest in controlling everything. They do, however,  have a lifelong interest in listening for inspiration.

3. We create our own reality

Quantum physicists are beginning to question the “realness” of our reality. The physical matter that we experience as  “solid” is merely energy slowed down in a very peculiar manner. Further, the future seems to exist as potential, not a particular single outcome. Rather, there are an infinite number of futures occurring simultaneously. The million dollar question is: Which future will pop up in your movie?  The answer, of course, is the one you choose.

How does knowing this make me tougher?

Tough people take 100% responsibility for everything in their movie. They are not victims, subject to the random events of a cruel and uncaring universe. They realize that their consciousness, their inner essence determines what events will take place. They also realize that our universe is not a McDonald’s drive through. You don’t just wish for something and see it in your movie immediately. Tough people understand that, over time, if their consciousness remains positive their reality will become positive.  In The Tough Zone, we will talk extensively about how to keep your consciousness positive.

4. We are here to get better

Get better at what?  When we answer our Call to Action, we quite naturally take ourselves out of our comfort zone. Challenge pushes us to our very limits. At the ragged edge of our capabilities arise the personal issues that we must overcome:  Maybe we need to overcome shyness. Maybe we need to become more patient. Maybe we need to listen to others. Maybe we need to control our anger.   Whatever our personal issues, they will not arise until we are challenged, until we push ourselves.  If we approach our journey correctly, we transform during our Call to Action.  No matter what the outcome, a successful journey includes learning about yourself; overcoming the personal issues that limit you. Success means getting better at….life.

How does knowing this make me tougher?

Tough people sense that personal transformation is where it’s at.  Transformation is their purpose. Period. Tough people understand that they are not on this Earth to win trophies; that they are not here to accumulate millions of dollars; that they are not here to become famous, to kick ass or to takes names. Make no mistake. Truly tough people are likely to do these things. However, their focus is on becoming more skilled at living.  No matter what horrific event occurs in their movie, tough people make it a point to turn it into a positive by learning and evolving.

5. Being “right ” is of absolutely no value…in fact it’s a form of violence

Liberal vs. Conservative

Evolution vs. Intelligent Design

Christian vs. Jewish vs. Muslim vs. Buddhist

My way vs. Your way

These people vs. Those people

Who’s Right? Who’s Better?  Who cares!!!!!!!   If you are wasting time trying to prove that you are “right,” you are not in the Tough Zone. What does “right” mean? Being right implies: 1. That a great number of people agree with you. 2. That you said it the loudest. 3. That you are pointing a weapon at someone that is bigger than the one they are pointing at you. Think of all the cruelty and violence perpetrated over being right. Is it worth it?  The assertion that the Earth was flat was once “right.” Almost everyone agreed, passionately. How many people do you know who would rather be right than be happy?

How does knowing this make me tougher?

When you are in the Tough Zone your singular focus is what’s right for you. What everyone else thinks  is not even on your radar.  In the Tough Zone, you are flexible, creative, open-minded. You never attach your identity to a particular way of thought.  In turn, you are able to allow the rest of humanity to focus on what is right for them.  Trust me when I tell you that there is no “right.”

6. Sharing acts are always in your best interest.

“When you get to worrying about the needs of others, The Light (of God) gets to worrying about you.”

Karen Berg

Have you ever noticed that, when you have a problem, helping someone who is less fortunate than you always makes you feel better?  When you share with others, suddenly your “problems” don’t seen so important. You feel uplifted. You regain your power.

How does knowing  this make me tougher?

Remember, tough means:  The ability to perform at a high level, no matter what the conditions. When you are sharing with others, no conditions seem formidable. Sharing is the ultimate defense against fear and anxiety. It’s an instant fix for anything in your way. Tough people share constantly, even to the point of being uncomfortable.

So, those are the rules.  When you try to enter the Tough Zone, come prepared. Are you ready to take this journey with me? Being in the Tough Zone will give you the proper state of mind to achieve anything you want, no matter what.

As always, I welcome comments, stories and inspirations

Peace begins with me

Coach Dave

The Smart Zone Step 6: Make it Your Own

By now, you’ve probably guessed that Coach Dave is a big fan of cinema. (Yes, I just referred to myself in the third person….and it felt great!!)  I am especially a fan of independent (“indie”) films. Why? The endings in independent films are so random. The allure of indie film lies in the freedom characters have to respond to challenges.  These are not cookbook characters, confined to traditional Hollywood scripts. Independent films resemble real life.  Some have happy, somewhat predictable endings. Some indie flicks have very depressing endings, where the hero does very little to resolve conflict.  The very best indie films have unexpected endings, in which the characters evolve. They overcome adversity by transforming their very nature.

I'm a huge Wes Anderson fan

Why do we love it so much when a  character in a film transforms? Why are we so deeply moved?  After all, a movie is  just a two-dimensional image on a screen. Why do our eyes well up with tears (just admit it) when our hero finally figures things out?  We experience these emotions because we know we have the same potential within us.  We want to change for the better too.

I the last segment of the Tough-Smart Blog, we talked about The Wall. It’s a harrowing, frustrating, challenging time when our Call to Action may seem  in jeopardy. What to do when: despite your inspiration, despite your knowledge, despite the solid advice of your mentor, despite your incredible hustle, you fall flat on your face? Most people choose to quit. They become victims. The blame bad luck or unfair circumstances. They run out of gas. You, however, are not most people. You are Tough-Smart. When faced with the difficulty, fear and uncertainty The Wall presents, you will Make it Your Own.

The Make it Your Own Phase is the difference between having “But Then” or “And Then” as the ending to your story:

I answered my call to Action. I studied. I prepared. I listened to my mentor.  I really hustled…

“but then, I had some bad luck.”

“but then, no one would give me a chance”

“but then, I ran out of money“

“but then, I got hurt”

“but then, I got burned out. It just wasn’t fun anymore.”

I answered my Call to Action. I studied. I prepared.  I listened to my mentor. I really hustled. For a while I hit The Wall…

“and then, I came up with the most amazing idea.”

“and then, I met someone who made the difference.”

“and then, my journey turned into something completely different, even better than my original Call to Action.”

“and then, most random thing happened that changed everything.”

“and then,  I took 100% responsibility for my journey. I knew the time had come for me to make some changes.”

The Wall is the central conflict in the movie you call your life. You can produce any kind of movie you want. If you desire a mundane, depressing ending to your Call to Action, so be it. There is no law against it. Personally, I feel like I wasted my $7.50 when a film ends like that. For my journey, I prefer a quirky, unexpected, even bizarre ending that is far better than the ending I envisioned at the start.

Throughout  the Smart Zone I emphasized learning a world-class system and following the advice of your coach. During the Hustle Phase, I suggested to stick to this system, even when you had doubts. I told you the time for innovation would come. When you hit The Wall, the time for creativity is NOW!  The advice of an expert, world-class as it is, can only deliver you to the threshold of success. You are not a carbon copy of your mentor nor is your Call to Action. Putting your personal stamp on your journey is exactly what will get you past The Wall.

During the course of  your journey you will probably think, “If I was doing things my way I’d do this.”  In fact, you’ll probably think it a thousand times. The key to success with Tough-Smart is to take note of these little epiphanies. However, wait until the proper time to apply them. Ride the advice of your mentor until the last possible minute. Anticipate hitting The Wall. Then, when The Wall comes, go for it! Evolve. Improvise. Make it Your Own.

My favorite Make it Your Own story is that of John Smith. This legendary Oklahoma State wrestler lost a heartbreaking match in the 1985 NCAA finals. After this loss, Smith took a “red shirt” year away from college competition. He trained harder than ever before. He reexamined his wrestling style. He innovated.  Finally, Smith invented the Low Single Leg Takedown or “Low Single.”  This technique, a unique and new approach to attacking an opponent’s legs, became Smith’ s signature move.  Smith became unstoppable.  The low single revolutionized wrestling and led John Smith to two NCAA championships, four world titles and two Olympic Championships.

John Smith winning an Olympic Gold Medal

The Make it Your Own phase is when you take 100% responsibility for everything in your movie. During this phase your approach may have to change, the nature of your journey may have to change, YOU MAY HAVE TO CHANGE!! This does not imply failure: not doing exactly what you set out to do. It implies tremendous success. When you Make it Your Own, you re-invent yourself and redefine success.

As always, I welcome your Tough-Smart stories in the comments section.

Peace begins with me,

Coach Dave

The Smart Zone: Step 5: The Wall

In cinema, sequel movies are typically a disappointment. Granted, Rocky II was awesome (especially when Rocky finally caught that chicken). Come to think of it, Rocky III was amazing too (Clubber Lang invented trash talking ). However, these films are exceptions to the rule. Rocky IV, Rocky V and Rocky VI all stunk in typical sequel fashion. In general, we must agree, sequels almost never reach the creative peak of the original movies that spawned them.

Yo Adrian! How does this apply to Tough-Smart? More specifically, How does this apply to your Call to Action?
Let me walk you right through the subtleties of my Stallone reference:

You decided Life as Usual was not for you. You answered your Call to Action. You enjoyed the N.E.R.D. Phase enough to Find a Coach/Mentor. You Hustled your *ss off. Then, the funniest thing happened.  After some initial success, your Call to Action halted in its tracks.

Your journey has taken an unexpected turn.  Perhaps it has even taken a few steps backward. You have encountered adversity that no one could have predicted. You have endured criticism (sometimes constructive, sometimes not) from places you never would have expected.You’ve been frustrated at times. You have doubted yourself and questioned the very system that  got you to where you are. You now realize that your Call to Action will definitely not proceed the way you planned.

Great job!! You’ve hit The Wall. Consider yourself in élite company. John Elway lost three Superbowls in humiliating fashion before becoming a two-time World Champion. Dana White and the Ultimate Fighting Championships (U.F.C.) almost closed shop before becoming one of the premier entertainment companies in the world. Albert Einstein languished in obscurity before his theory of relativity revolutionized modern physics.

Hitting the wall is a natural part of any great endeavor. That’s the anatomy of success. Now that you have hit The Wall, you must ask yourself the pivotal question of your journey: “What would the hero in MY movie do.” Would Neo pack it in when the Oracle told him he wasn’t “The One.” Would Superman become a victim when Lex Lugar chained him to kryptonite.  What would Rocky do? (WWRD?)

Remember, YOU are the hero in your movie. (You are also the producer, director and projector. We will get to that later). What’s more, your movie is not a cheap sequel. It’s a blockbuster original.  You are not a carbon copy of your mentor. You are unique. You talents are unique. Your journey is unique.  The Wall is the phase where most people’s Call to Action ends.  They become frustrated, disillusioned, burned out. They quit. You, however, are Tough-Smart. This offers tremendous advantages: 1. You knew The Wall was coming. 2. You know The Wall is a sign of impending success. Anticipating and even welcoming The Wall  allows  you to respond proactively, with a sense of creativity.

There’s no telling how long The Wall phase will last. Evolution can be a slow process. Here are some tips to help you stay on track:

1. Stay Cool Like Fonzi – Hitting The Wall is natural.  Your movie would be totally boring without it.

2. Stay hungry – Every day, remind yourself why you love what you are doing

3. Inject certainty – The Wall is an illusion. You will succeed. It’s simply a matter of when.

4. Stay tough – We will talk at length about the Tough-Zone.

5. Show gratitude – Constantly be thankful for what you do have. Constantly be proud of how far you have come.

6. Keep hustling – Anyone can hustle when things are going great. Tough-Smart people hustle no matter what the conditions.

I know many of you are hitting The Wall as you read this. In the next edition of Tough-Smart we will talk about how to get past this scary and strenuous phase. In the meantime, stay Tough-Smart.

Peace begins with me,

Coach Dave

The Smart Zone – Step 4: The Hustle Phase

Happy holidays and God bless, Tough-Smart Nation. Let’s continue our tour through the Tough-Smart System by expanding on the Smart Zone. In Step 3 of The Smart Zone, we moved out of the N.E.R.D. Phase and found a world-class mentor/coach. As I mentioned, your mentor will compel you to work harder than you ever thought possible. He/she will also introduce you to a world-class system, which will allow you to work efficiently.

Step 4 in the Smart Zone is to Hustle; to make hay while the sun shines; to push yourself; to bust your butt. Whatever you choose to call it, Step 4 in the Smart Zone is about maximum effort. Executed correctly, The Hustle phase should not differ vastly from the N.E.R.D. Phase. It should still be fun.  After all, your are directing your hard work toward your personal Call to Action, your passion.

Unlike the N.E.R.D. Phase, the Hustle Phase is about producing results. If your Call to Action is to open a business, the Hustle phase is when you open up your doors and start producing revenue. If you are an athlete, the Hustle phase is when you start  having an impact in competition. It’s time to take the training wheels off. It’s time to keep score.  Your efforts now count.

During the Hustle Phase, it is vitally important to do things exactly the way your mentor taught you. Trust the system you’ve learned. The time for innovation will come later. In The Hustle Phase, focus on doing everything possible to enhance your chances of success. If your world-class system calls for you to practice something 100 times, then practice it 1000 times. If your mentor asks you to learn a new skill, then learn it so well that you could teach it to a 4-year-old. During the Hustle Phase, be obsessive/compulsive. Pay attention to detail. Go overboard.  By the way, questions are the bane of the Hustle phase.  Save them for later. The mantra of the Hustle phase is “over-prepare and under-think.”

In the N.E.R.D. Phase, living in the Smart Zone was sufficient. Your focus was solely on enjoyment. Starting with the Hustle Phase, living in the Tough Zone pays large premiums. In future chapters we will talk in-depth about Defining Success, Overcoming Ego, Overcoming the Victim Mentality and other “Transforming to Tough” principles. Suffice it to say for now that the Hustle Phase is NOT the time to: 1. Feel sorry for yourself. 2. Worry about what you are getting out of the process. 3. Take a vacation 4.Come up with your own grand plan.

There is no greater example of Hustle than Charlie Lewis Jr.(aka “Mask”). In 1997 Mask and his associate Dan Caldwell founded Tapout, a clothing line targeted at the mixed martial arts community. The Tapout crew hustled in legendary fashion, initially selling their gear out of the back of their car. Wherever and whenever there was an MMA competition, Tapout was there. They relentlessly pedaled their clothes, their brand and their image. From a gross of $30,000 in 1999, Tapout’s earnings rose to $100 million in 2008. Tapout also has a reality show, a video game and a popular magazine bearing its name. Tragically, after inspiring so many, Charlie “Mask” Lewis died in the Spring of 2oo9.

Just Hustle. Pursue your Call to Action with tenacity. Surprisingly, not many people know how to truly push themselves. In the Hustle phase, rise above your natural inclination to take it easy. See how good you can really be. Remember your Call to Action isn’t just about you. You are sharing it with the World… and the World deserves your best.

R.I.P. Mask.  You inspired and energized me

Peace begins with me,

Coach Dave