Prelude to The Tough Zone Part II : House Rules

Do you know how a microwave oven  works? I don’t. I’ll tell you what I do know. When I put my food in a microwave and push start, my food gets hot. I don’t need to know how the circuits work, how the microwaves are generated, how much power the oven has. My microwave is useful whether I have this information or not.

Living in The Tough-Zone is a lot like using a microwave. It’s something you will have to learn from experience.  Do it and see if it works. If it doesn’t work, don’t do it. I won’t always be able to tell you the exact mechanism behind my advice. What I can tell you is that if you follow certain Transforming to Tough precepts, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PERFORM AT A HIGH LEVEL NO MATTER WHAT THE CONDITIONS. That’s what “tough” is all about.

 Use these precepts with the roadmap presented in The Smart Zone and you will become boundless. In The Tough Zone, we will cover all sorts of subject matter: overcoming ego, losing the victim mentality, defining success, mindfulness, appreciation, seeing the good in others to name a few. But first, lets discuss the house rules to the Tough Zone.

1. Our conscious minds have no idea what is going on

In his book, “The User Illusion,” Tor Norretranders describes the tiny lens through which we view reality. According to this world-renowned mathematician, our conscious mind processes 15-20 bits of information per second; this out of  11 million bits of information per second that our senses pass on to our brains.  Thus, in any given instant, we are aware of only a tiny, tiny fraction of our physical reality.

Couple that with the latest from quantum physics: According to Superstring Theory (also known as “The Theory of Everything”), our physical universe has ten dimensions. We experience only three dimensions. Our daily life, what we perceive as “real,” is merely a three-dimensional shadow in a ten dimensional universe. Translation: There is a lot going on that we are not aware of.

Are you aware of the Internet? Are you aware of  the actual waves traveling through the air, bouncing off satellites and somehow producing an image on your computer? Of course you aren’t. But, you are using the Internet to communicate now.

How does knowing this make me tougher?

When something kooky appears in your movie, admitting you probably have no idea what is going on makes it easy to be proactive. You can simply say, “I have no idea why this is in my movie. I’m not going to fret about it.” Or you might say, “Is this my Call to Action?” Perhaps, “I won’t realize the significance of this event until later in my movie. For now, back the Smart Zone!”

2. Our brain is not in control

Our conscious minds like to think we are in control of everything…..so does our ego. We assume that our brain is the originator of our thoughts and that these thoughts determine the events in our movie. Not true. In fact, our brain is more like a holographic  TV set.  It receives signals and creates a picture of reality – albeit a very limited picture. So who’s in control? The real question is where are these signals coming from?

How does knowing this make me tougher?

Tough people learn to discriminate among their thoughts. Quite simply, there are thoughts that help us on our journey and thoughts that don’t. Think of your brain as a TV that has two stations: 1. K-TUF  2. K-WIMP.  Unfortunately, our brain is naturally set to K-WIMP (blasting at full volume) most of the time. We are constantly bombarded by worthless thoughts that harm our journey. The hero in your movie would certainly know how to turn the channel to K-TUF. Tough people have no interest in controlling everything. They do, however,  have a lifelong interest in listening for inspiration.

3. We create our own reality

Quantum physicists are beginning to question the “realness” of our reality. The physical matter that we experience as  “solid” is merely energy slowed down in a very peculiar manner. Further, the future seems to exist as potential, not a particular single outcome. Rather, there are an infinite number of futures occurring simultaneously. The million dollar question is: Which future will pop up in your movie?  The answer, of course, is the one you choose.

How does knowing this make me tougher?

Tough people take 100% responsibility for everything in their movie. They are not victims, subject to the random events of a cruel and uncaring universe. They realize that their consciousness, their inner essence determines what events will take place. They also realize that our universe is not a McDonald’s drive through. You don’t just wish for something and see it in your movie immediately. Tough people understand that, over time, if their consciousness remains positive their reality will become positive.  In The Tough Zone, we will talk extensively about how to keep your consciousness positive.

4. We are here to get better

Get better at what?  When we answer our Call to Action, we quite naturally take ourselves out of our comfort zone. Challenge pushes us to our very limits. At the ragged edge of our capabilities arise the personal issues that we must overcome:  Maybe we need to overcome shyness. Maybe we need to become more patient. Maybe we need to listen to others. Maybe we need to control our anger.   Whatever our personal issues, they will not arise until we are challenged, until we push ourselves.  If we approach our journey correctly, we transform during our Call to Action.  No matter what the outcome, a successful journey includes learning about yourself; overcoming the personal issues that limit you. Success means getting better at….life.

How does knowing this make me tougher?

Tough people sense that personal transformation is where it’s at.  Transformation is their purpose. Period. Tough people understand that they are not on this Earth to win trophies; that they are not here to accumulate millions of dollars; that they are not here to become famous, to kick ass or to takes names. Make no mistake. Truly tough people are likely to do these things. However, their focus is on becoming more skilled at living.  No matter what horrific event occurs in their movie, tough people make it a point to turn it into a positive by learning and evolving.

5. Being “right ” is of absolutely no value…in fact it’s a form of violence

Liberal vs. Conservative

Evolution vs. Intelligent Design

Christian vs. Jewish vs. Muslim vs. Buddhist

My way vs. Your way

These people vs. Those people

Who’s Right? Who’s Better?  Who cares!!!!!!!   If you are wasting time trying to prove that you are “right,” you are not in the Tough Zone. What does “right” mean? Being right implies: 1. That a great number of people agree with you. 2. That you said it the loudest. 3. That you are pointing a weapon at someone that is bigger than the one they are pointing at you. Think of all the cruelty and violence perpetrated over being right. Is it worth it?  The assertion that the Earth was flat was once “right.” Almost everyone agreed, passionately. How many people do you know who would rather be right than be happy?

How does knowing this make me tougher?

When you are in the Tough Zone your singular focus is what’s right for you. What everyone else thinks  is not even on your radar.  In the Tough Zone, you are flexible, creative, open-minded. You never attach your identity to a particular way of thought.  In turn, you are able to allow the rest of humanity to focus on what is right for them.  Trust me when I tell you that there is no “right.”

6. Sharing acts are always in your best interest.

“When you get to worrying about the needs of others, The Light (of God) gets to worrying about you.”

Karen Berg

Have you ever noticed that, when you have a problem, helping someone who is less fortunate than you always makes you feel better?  When you share with others, suddenly your “problems” don’t seen so important. You feel uplifted. You regain your power.

How does knowing  this make me tougher?

Remember, tough means:  The ability to perform at a high level, no matter what the conditions. When you are sharing with others, no conditions seem formidable. Sharing is the ultimate defense against fear and anxiety. It’s an instant fix for anything in your way. Tough people share constantly, even to the point of being uncomfortable.

So, those are the rules.  When you try to enter the Tough Zone, come prepared. Are you ready to take this journey with me? Being in the Tough Zone will give you the proper state of mind to achieve anything you want, no matter what.

As always, I welcome comments, stories and inspirations

Peace begins with me

Coach Dave

Prelude to The Tough-Zone Part 1: What does “Tough” mean?

Inigo Montoya:You keep using that word. I do not think it means
              what you think it means. 

A few words before we enter the Tough-Zone: Tough is not what you think it is. Being tough has nothing to do with winning a fight, establishing dominion over others, being “right” or enduring pain for its own sake. Let’s look at some dictionary definitions of tough

Tough [tuf], adjective:

1.   sturdy; hardy: tough troops.

2.  not easily influenced, as a person; unyielding; stubborn: a tough man to work for.

3. hardened; incorrigible: a tough criminal.

4.  difficult to perform, accomplish, or deal with; hard, trying, or troublesome: a tough problem.

5.  hard to bear or endure (often used ironically): tough luck.

6. vigorous; severe; violent: a tough struggle.

7.  vicious; rough; rowdyish: a tough character; a tough neighborhood.

8. practical, realistic, and lacking in sentimentality; tough-minded.

For our purposes, none of these definitions will do. We live in a society where blame, excuses and victimhood often take center stage. People have a problem BEING tough. Perhaps this is because they do not UNDERSTAND tough.  Further, when trying to cope with difficult circumstances, many choose to play  the role of tough; to try to live up to the inadequate definitions above. You can’t fake tough.

Can you imagine the hero in your movie saying, “This is my greatest challenge ever. I am going to become stubborn, vicious, and hardened. I’m going to make everything I do look difficult. On top of that, I will be callous and unapproachable, so that no one can endure my presence.” Sounds funny but how many people who think they are “tough” do just that?

Tough means one thing:

The ability to perform at a high level NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

When you are in the Tough Zone you are boundless, unflappable. You feel relaxed and give off an aura of enjoyment and enthusiasm. You are flexible and make everything you do look easy. You are caring to others. People are naturally drawn to you.

Here are some phrases that adequately describe what being in The Tough Zone means:

1. Being  “In The Zone”
2. Being “In the Flow”
3. Realizing your Buddha nature or Christ nature.
4. Being at one with “Stillness” or “The Now.”
5.Rising Up
6. Connecting to the Power Within, to The Light (of God if you wish), or to Inspiration.

These don’t sound much like the dictionary definitions of tough. However, think about it for a second. Toughness is a power you draw from within, not an image or caricature you project to others. My favorite example of  “Transforming to Tough” (Triple T) is the character Neo in the movie “The Matrix.”  Neo begins the film as Thomas Anderson, a wispy computer hacker burdened by fear, self-doubt and a feeling that his life is incomplete. Neo ends the movie as The One, a limitless man in complete control of his mind and the physical world around him.

Getting into the Smart Zone is easy. All you need is a little but of talent, a lot of hustle and some good advice. Entering  the Tough Zone takes every bit of strength you can summon: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It’s tricky to get there and harder to stay there.  However, accessing the rare air of The Tough Zone is the fuel you will need to see your journey to a fulfilling conclusion. (Notice I said fulfilling not successful) In the coming chapters, we will further define the Tough Zone. I will give you the tools to get there and stay there./p>

Look forward to going all the way down the rabbit’s hole together (Take the blue pill…Matix reference, hopefully not too obscure).

Peace begins with me

Coach Dave

The Smart Zone Step 6: Make it Your Own

By now, you’ve probably guessed that Coach Dave is a big fan of cinema. (Yes, I just referred to myself in the third person….and it felt great!!)  I am especially a fan of independent (“indie”) films. Why? The endings in independent films are so random. The allure of indie film lies in the freedom characters have to respond to challenges.  These are not cookbook characters, confined to traditional Hollywood scripts. Independent films resemble real life.  Some have happy, somewhat predictable endings. Some indie flicks have very depressing endings, where the hero does very little to resolve conflict.  The very best indie films have unexpected endings, in which the characters evolve. They overcome adversity by transforming their very nature.

I'm a huge Wes Anderson fan

Why do we love it so much when a  character in a film transforms? Why are we so deeply moved?  After all, a movie is  just a two-dimensional image on a screen. Why do our eyes well up with tears (just admit it) when our hero finally figures things out?  We experience these emotions because we know we have the same potential within us.  We want to change for the better too.

I the last segment of the Tough-Smart Blog, we talked about The Wall. It’s a harrowing, frustrating, challenging time when our Call to Action may seem  in jeopardy. What to do when: despite your inspiration, despite your knowledge, despite the solid advice of your mentor, despite your incredible hustle, you fall flat on your face? Most people choose to quit. They become victims. The blame bad luck or unfair circumstances. They run out of gas. You, however, are not most people. You are Tough-Smart. When faced with the difficulty, fear and uncertainty The Wall presents, you will Make it Your Own.

The Make it Your Own Phase is the difference between having “But Then” or “And Then” as the ending to your story:

I answered my call to Action. I studied. I prepared. I listened to my mentor.  I really hustled…

“but then, I had some bad luck.”

“but then, no one would give me a chance”

“but then, I ran out of money“

“but then, I got hurt”

“but then, I got burned out. It just wasn’t fun anymore.”

I answered my Call to Action. I studied. I prepared.  I listened to my mentor. I really hustled. For a while I hit The Wall…

“and then, I came up with the most amazing idea.”

“and then, I met someone who made the difference.”

“and then, my journey turned into something completely different, even better than my original Call to Action.”

“and then, most random thing happened that changed everything.”

“and then,  I took 100% responsibility for my journey. I knew the time had come for me to make some changes.”

The Wall is the central conflict in the movie you call your life. You can produce any kind of movie you want. If you desire a mundane, depressing ending to your Call to Action, so be it. There is no law against it. Personally, I feel like I wasted my $7.50 when a film ends like that. For my journey, I prefer a quirky, unexpected, even bizarre ending that is far better than the ending I envisioned at the start.

Throughout  the Smart Zone I emphasized learning a world-class system and following the advice of your coach. During the Hustle Phase, I suggested to stick to this system, even when you had doubts. I told you the time for innovation would come. When you hit The Wall, the time for creativity is NOW!  The advice of an expert, world-class as it is, can only deliver you to the threshold of success. You are not a carbon copy of your mentor nor is your Call to Action. Putting your personal stamp on your journey is exactly what will get you past The Wall.

During the course of  your journey you will probably think, “If I was doing things my way I’d do this.”  In fact, you’ll probably think it a thousand times. The key to success with Tough-Smart is to take note of these little epiphanies. However, wait until the proper time to apply them. Ride the advice of your mentor until the last possible minute. Anticipate hitting The Wall. Then, when The Wall comes, go for it! Evolve. Improvise. Make it Your Own.

My favorite Make it Your Own story is that of John Smith. This legendary Oklahoma State wrestler lost a heartbreaking match in the 1985 NCAA finals. After this loss, Smith took a “red shirt” year away from college competition. He trained harder than ever before. He reexamined his wrestling style. He innovated.  Finally, Smith invented the Low Single Leg Takedown or “Low Single.”  This technique, a unique and new approach to attacking an opponent’s legs, became Smith’ s signature move.  Smith became unstoppable.  The low single revolutionized wrestling and led John Smith to two NCAA championships, four world titles and two Olympic Championships.

John Smith winning an Olympic Gold Medal

The Make it Your Own phase is when you take 100% responsibility for everything in your movie. During this phase your approach may have to change, the nature of your journey may have to change, YOU MAY HAVE TO CHANGE!! This does not imply failure: not doing exactly what you set out to do. It implies tremendous success. When you Make it Your Own, you re-invent yourself and redefine success.

As always, I welcome your Tough-Smart stories in the comments section.

Peace begins with me,

Coach Dave

The Smart Zone: Step 5: The Wall

In cinema, sequel movies are typically a disappointment. Granted, Rocky II was awesome (especially when Rocky finally caught that chicken). Come to think of it, Rocky III was amazing too (Clubber Lang invented trash talking ). However, these films are exceptions to the rule. Rocky IV, Rocky V and Rocky VI all stunk in typical sequel fashion. In general, we must agree, sequels almost never reach the creative peak of the original movies that spawned them.

Yo Adrian! How does this apply to Tough-Smart? More specifically, How does this apply to your Call to Action?
Let me walk you right through the subtleties of my Stallone reference:

You decided Life as Usual was not for you. You answered your Call to Action. You enjoyed the N.E.R.D. Phase enough to Find a Coach/Mentor. You Hustled your *ss off. Then, the funniest thing happened.  After some initial success, your Call to Action halted in its tracks.

Your journey has taken an unexpected turn.  Perhaps it has even taken a few steps backward. You have encountered adversity that no one could have predicted. You have endured criticism (sometimes constructive, sometimes not) from places you never would have expected.You’ve been frustrated at times. You have doubted yourself and questioned the very system that  got you to where you are. You now realize that your Call to Action will definitely not proceed the way you planned.

Great job!! You’ve hit The Wall. Consider yourself in élite company. John Elway lost three Superbowls in humiliating fashion before becoming a two-time World Champion. Dana White and the Ultimate Fighting Championships (U.F.C.) almost closed shop before becoming one of the premier entertainment companies in the world. Albert Einstein languished in obscurity before his theory of relativity revolutionized modern physics.

Hitting the wall is a natural part of any great endeavor. That’s the anatomy of success. Now that you have hit The Wall, you must ask yourself the pivotal question of your journey: “What would the hero in MY movie do.” Would Neo pack it in when the Oracle told him he wasn’t “The One.” Would Superman become a victim when Lex Lugar chained him to kryptonite.  What would Rocky do? (WWRD?)

Remember, YOU are the hero in your movie. (You are also the producer, director and projector. We will get to that later). What’s more, your movie is not a cheap sequel. It’s a blockbuster original.  You are not a carbon copy of your mentor. You are unique. You talents are unique. Your journey is unique.  The Wall is the phase where most people’s Call to Action ends.  They become frustrated, disillusioned, burned out. They quit. You, however, are Tough-Smart. This offers tremendous advantages: 1. You knew The Wall was coming. 2. You know The Wall is a sign of impending success. Anticipating and even welcoming The Wall  allows  you to respond proactively, with a sense of creativity.

There’s no telling how long The Wall phase will last. Evolution can be a slow process. Here are some tips to help you stay on track:

1. Stay Cool Like Fonzi – Hitting The Wall is natural.  Your movie would be totally boring without it.

2. Stay hungry – Every day, remind yourself why you love what you are doing

3. Inject certainty – The Wall is an illusion. You will succeed. It’s simply a matter of when.

4. Stay tough – We will talk at length about the Tough-Zone.

5. Show gratitude – Constantly be thankful for what you do have. Constantly be proud of how far you have come.

6. Keep hustling – Anyone can hustle when things are going great. Tough-Smart people hustle no matter what the conditions.

I know many of you are hitting The Wall as you read this. In the next edition of Tough-Smart we will talk about how to get past this scary and strenuous phase. In the meantime, stay Tough-Smart.

Peace begins with me,

Coach Dave

The Smart Zone: Step 1 – The Call to Action

Living Tough-Smart has two zones: The Tough Zone  and The Smart Zone.  I always like to introduce the Smart Zone first.  As I mentioned in my earlier post (“What is Tough-Smart?”),  the Smart Zone is easy to understand.  It is rational, practical and will appeal to your intellect. Living in the Smart Zone is simple but certainly not easy. The Today I’d like to talk about Step 1 in the Smart Zone, The Call to Action.

Practically every movie I’ve ever seen starts out the same way: LIFE AS USUAL. Our hero (remember that’s you) is just doing his/her everyday, normal thing. Often our hero often has a sense that something is missing (Think Neo from the movie “The Matrix” as Thomas Anderson….Missssster Anderson).  Then, suddenly, something cataclysmic plummets into the hero’s everyday routine that changes his life forever: a meteor falls into his living room, the love of his life walks in, he has an idea that will change the world.  This is The Call to Action.

We’ve all experienced the The Call to Action. It’s the lightbulb  going on in your head. It’s divine inspiration – “the still small voice.”  It’s when opportunity knocks. It is a small whisper among the many loud voices playing to our reality that moves us to ACT! When the Call to Action comes, listen carefully.  It should inspire a sense of excitement, enjoyment and enthusiasm. The Call to Action is a nudge toward something you would really like to be or do.

When you hear the Call to Action, pause for just a second. Ask yourself a question: “Is this voice proactive or reactive.”  If the voice is urging you to do something creative, to share with others, to learn something new then it is proactive.  For example my friend, Sheldon Marr, is a police officer. He also happens to be a former olympic team alternate in Judo and an élite level wrestling coach.  In the late 1990’s, he was inspired to open Grappler’s Edge, a mixed martial arts academy. This was BEFORE mixed martial arts (U.F.C., Pride, W.E.C., etc.) was popular or even a known entity to the public. Today Grappler’s Edge is one of the top mixed martial arts gyms in the world. Sheldon was recently inducted into the Ju-Jitsu hall of fame.  Sheldon’s Call to Action was clearly proactive.  He listened to the voice of inspiration and shared his dream with the world.

On the other hand, if the voice inside you is urging you to gain revenge, to exclude others, to prove someone wrong or to merely gain recognition, then it is reactive. This is not the voice of inspiration calling. It’s your ego. Do me and the world a favor when this happens. Put your ego on hold or hang up.  Don’t worry. It will definitely call back another time.

Are you satisfied with LIFE AS USUAL?  I’m not. I’m convinced my movie is infinitely more interesting than that. When the Call to Action taps you on the shoulder, answer it. We’ll talk about how in later chapters. You will create happiness in your life and the lives of those who are fortunate enough to  share your dream.

What is tough-smart?

First, I’d like to introduce myself and then I would like to talk a little bit about where we are headed with the Tough-Smart blog. My name is David Nowick M.D. I am a 39 year old anesthesiologist from Denver, Colorado. I spend my days putting people to sleep. What I would really like to do, however,  is to help people to WAKE UP!!  I am a graduate of Stanford University and spent the first 27 years of my life training as an elite level wrestler. My passion in life is coaching kids wrestling.  I prefer the moniker  “Coach Dave” to any of the others I’ve acquired in this life. Many of the elements of Tough-Smart have been drawn from my experiences in sports and my journey toward becoming a physician.

Now that the introductions are over, what in the heck is Tough-Smart and why would I go to the trouble of sending this blog into the Nethersphere? Tough-Smart is my personal brand of living.  More than anything, I would like to share it with you.   I’ll start by writing the Tough-Smart blog. Soon I hope to connect with you  through public speaking, through the vast array of social networks available on the internet and through talking to you  1 on 1.

The are two zones in the Tough-Smart world: 1. The Smart Zone 2. The Tough Zone.    The Smart Zone is simply a step by step plan to becoming successful. It my proven roadmap  for “getting really good” at something. It is a method to identify your passion and then to become elite in that area. The Smart Zone will make a lot of sense. It will appeal to your intellect. It is practical, everyday advice with a bit of my personal brand of inspiration mixed in. When you are in the Smart Zone you will be on your way to success in any field you choose.

The Tough Zone is harder to grasp. It is about achieving personal fulfillment rather than success. The Tough Zone is about personal transformation. It is where we really wake up. It’s not what you think.  It’s not about winning fist fights or gritting your teeth or sucking it up.  When you are truly “tough,” you won’t need to do any of those things. In the Tough Zone you will become the hero in the movie called “Your Life” (I always like to picture Neo in  the movie “The Matrix” ). When you are in the Tough Zone you will be able to perform, to be the person you want to be NO MATTER WHAT THE CONDITIONS OR CIRCUMSTANCES.

Sound exciting? It is . After all, this is your life! With Tough-Smart I hope to inspire you, to challenge you, to drive you crazy, to wake you up and most of all to communicate with you.

All my best

Peace begins with me

Coach Dave